Self-esteem is not a complex thing. It just takes time and dedication and belief in yourself. Credit: Morgue File

Success can be measured in many ways. To some, fame and fortune make the man; to others, success means hard work and a happy family. Regardless of your personal goals, all of us want to lead accomplished lives. Self esteem is the common trait in all definitions of success. Without it, one can accomplish little. At some point in life, each of us hit lulls in our esteem and must fight to relearn how to become your own biggest fan. Though my personal experience, I compiled a list of six areas to focus on to instantly boost your self esteem. All of these behaviors will begin to enhance self-confidence, and spur motivation. Regardless of your confidence level, motivate yourself to integrate some of these important steps into your life as often as possible:

1. First, greet others with a smile and look them directly in the eye. A smile and direct eye contact convey confidence born of self-respect. In the same way, answer the phone pleasantly whether at work or at home, and when placing a call, give your name before asking to speak to the party you want to reach. Leading with your name underscores that a person with self-respect is making the call.
2. Second, always show real appreciation for a gift or compliment. Don’t downplay or sidestep expressions of affection or honor from others. The ability to gracefully accept gifts from others is a universal mark of an individual with solid self-esteem.
3. Third, don’t brag. Paradoxically, genuine modesty usually coincides with the capacity to gracefully receive compliments. People who brag about their own exploits or demand special attention are simply trying to build themselves up in the eyes of others. A large portion of this self praise comes from an his low self perception and belief that he is unworthy of other’s respect.
4. Fourth, don’t make your problems the centerpiece of your conversation. Talk positively about your life and the progress you’re trying to make. Be aware of any negative thinking, and take notice of how often you complain. When you hear yourself criticize someone—this includes self-criticism—find a way to be helpful instead of critical. His admiration for you will instantly rise and it will rub off onto your self-perception.
5. Fifth, respond to difficult times or depressing moments by increasing your level of productive activity. When your self-esteem is challenged, don’t sit around and fall victim to “paralysis by analysis.” The late Malcolm Forbes said, “Vehicles in motion use their generators to charge their own batteries. Unless you happen to be a golf cart, you can’t recharge your battery when parked in the garage!” Its common to let life’s occurrences control our demeanor and attitude. The key is to process good and bad times in a manner that will not allow you to become complacent or overconfident. Activity and progressive action is necessary to remedy negative or slow times and the perpetuation of good times.
6. Sixth, choose to see mistakes and rejections as opportunities to learn. View an individual failure as the conclusion of one performance, not the end of your entire career. Own up to your shortcomings, but refuse to see yourself as a failure. Defeat may be something performed poorly. It may be something you will be required to eventually carry out on the way to success, but a failure is definitely not something you are. In fact, the only way you can become a failure is if you believe you are. When you find this hard to believe, remind yourself that all of the greats have stumbled along the way, but never stopped believing in themselves.

Even if you’re at a point where you’re feeling very negatively about yourself, be aware that you’re now ideally positioned to make rapid and dramatic improvement. A negative self-evaluation, if it’s honest and insightful, takes much more courage and character than the self-delusions that form the basis for arrogance and conceit. This is especially true with athletes. After an extremely poor performance, a team or an individual athlete often does much better the next time out. This holds especially true when the poor performance sunk so lowly that there was simply no way to shirk responsibility for it. Disappointment, defeat, and even apparent failure are in not permanent conditions unless we choose to make them so. These undeniably painful experiences can be the solid foundation on which to build future success.

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